if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
