and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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