Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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