and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
