U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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