I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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