So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize