That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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