So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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