Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
