My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
