I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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