haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
