i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
