We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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