Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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