Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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