ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
