Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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