Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm always down for nudity.
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