butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
