She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
