so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
