why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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