it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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