Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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