I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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