Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
