I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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