That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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