It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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