i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize