We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
