the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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