Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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