Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize