Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you made out with another girl for some wings
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
