I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
