so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
