they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
