I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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