When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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