it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Shame - the story of my life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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