My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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