Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize