He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
