I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
