my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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