Your tits are I can't wait for
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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