I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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