Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
