NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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