once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
