Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
