Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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