hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
