I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
