I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
