Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
