Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
