I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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