So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
