I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
