She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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