I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
