Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize