someone owes me an orgasm
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
