Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
