i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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