Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
