Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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