Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
