drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
