Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
