There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize