i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
